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8 Scientific Ways To Be More Attractive To Men
8 Scientific Ways To Be More Attractive To Men By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
Some things in life are set…
…but probably not as many as we think.
To illustrate this, have you ever ran into someone you went to school with ten years prior, and been amazed at how they looked now?
This last year, some of my high school classmates made a Facebook group, and soon I was reconnecting with people that I hadn’t seen in twenty years.
Many looked very similar to the way they did in high school. One woman, however, about knocked me over.
She was a “side kick” to a popular girl back in the day, and not really that noticeable. Well, these days she’s a bombshell.
But something was very different, even though I instantly recognized her.
It really makes you stop and think about attractiveness, which brings me to my first point:
Attractiveness relies on much more than your physical appearance.
You would think that being sexy, hot, beautiful, or attractive is about how you look physically.
It is… and it isn’t.
It’s in the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, how you care for yourself, the people you hang out with, and how you talk to people.
We don’t need science to prove to anyone that you look healthier and more attractive if you eat right, exercise, and spend a little time and money on your appearance.
You can tweak your diet to help you build more muscle, to have better skin, and to have an overall healthy glow.
Someone who takes good care of themselves, and has a positive outlook, is very attractive to others. They pull all people in, so it’s even more than a sexual attraction.
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Now that I’ve made that point, we can look at eight ways to use science to look more attractive to men.
All of these, except #5, are things that anyone can do.
1. Show those pearly whites
Smiling stimulates men’s brains in many ways, and these work together to make you appear more attractive.
First, we know that anyone who smiles looks more welcoming, so a man will be more likely to approach you if you give him a smile. A smile disarms a man, so he’ll feel more at ease and even protective of you. That will help you notice positive things and feel more comfortable.
Men like people who like them, so a smile makes them think you like them more, and therefore makes you appear more attractive. That might be a bit odd, but it’s true. If a man thinks you like him, you appear more attractive!
That’s important because some people have trouble smiling, or forget to smile, when they’re nervous.
Remember that he’s nervous too, and try for a natural smile.
Also make sure your teeth are healthy and white. A study found that when women had whiter teeth, the men showed a 54% increase in wanting to continue the date.
The really surprising thing was that men also thought that women with whiter teeth were more outgoing. So a natural, bright smile can make you appear much more attractive and outgoing.
2. Wear red
In a study, men rated photos of women for attractiveness in front of different color backgrounds.
The women in front of red scored the highest.
If a man isn’t attracted to you, wearing red probably won’t change that. But if you catch his eye, and you happen to have some red incorporated into your outfit, it’ll grab his attention even more.
Red seems to trigger something biologically in men, maybe because they’re drawn to rosy cheeks. Some experts will tell you to use this tip and wear red lipstick. Studies have found that men will look at a mouth for 2 to 3 times longer when a woman wears red lipstick. So in a group of women, wearing red lipstick will really make you stand out.
Go to your favorite makeup counter to have a professional help you find the right shade of red for you.
3. Wear Solid Colors
And while we’re talking about what to wear—solid colors are more attractive to men than patterns. So a solid color shirt or dress will catch his attention more than a pattern.
Women tend to love patterns and layering things, so it goes against what we might pick out. But you can test this out one evening by wearing a solid color, and also take a look at women who men are watching, and notice what they’re wearing.
4. Scent is sexy
While primping your appearance, don’t forget about perfume.
Our smell is connected to our emotional and memory centers in the brain. That’s why a scent can bring back a very old memory, or even evoke an emotion out of the blue.
Having a nice perfume is the finishing touch on classiness and sexiness.
It really pulls a man in when you smell nice!
The key is finding a perfume that combines with your own body chemistry, so you’ll want to try perfumes on the test paper, in the air, and a little on your skin.
Go for a holistic approach and think about the scent of your shampoo, conditioner, skin conditioner, and perfume.
5. Keep your hair long and healthy
Long, healthy hair shows fertility, and that might by why men are genetically drawn to it.
Younger women also tend to have longer hair than older woman, so it’s a sign of youth.
We could think about it deeper and say that long hair is seen as feminine, since most men have short hair. And men to like women, at least visually, for the things that are different about them from men.
But for whatever reason, studies have proven that men’s preferred hair style is long, straight and down. Long, curly, and down is their second favorite hair style, followed by a styled ponytail. “Long” hair doesn’t have to be super long, so you’ll still want to trim split ends and keep it healthy looking.
6. Mimic his body language, subtly!
So this a weird tip, but another one that works on a subconscious level.
You can appear more attractive to a man by mimicking his body language. It makes you seem more likable. But you don’t want to mirror him while he’s doing something. Make sure it’s not noticeable so it won’t make him feel strange. The effect is subconscious. He’ll feel more attracted to you without knowing why.
And men don’t analyze why they feel attracted to a woman. They believe it’s an either/or thing: they either feel it or they don’t. Hardly any men realize that women can do different things to appear more attractive.
Keep this tip in mind, and notice things he does. Wait a few minutes, and do something similar. Notice if he touches his hair, how he sits, and body language.
Keep in mind, he’ll do some things that look better on a male, so try to think of a female version. You don’t have to copy him exactly.
7. Higher pitch voices
Men like things about women that are different than them. In other words, they like feminine things like pretty dresses, the hour glass shape, long hair, and big, pouty lips.
Men are drawn to feminine voices too.
So a higher pitched voice will make him want to protect you, and that makes him attracted. Don’t go for a fake voice. But you might take some time and notice if you lower your voice. Some people do that out of habit.
8. Confidence is always in style
You can put all the time in the world into how you look, but it’ll ruin that if you put yourself down, talk about not being good enough, or show that you doubt yourself a lot.
Sometimes people “wow” us with their personality and confidence, and we want to be around them, never thinking about what they look like.
Attractiveness is about much more than a straight photograph of a person; it includes personality, charm, flirtiness, and confidence.
If you put some of the above tips to use and add in a dose of confidence, you’ll be a man magnet!
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The secret mind method you learn here will turn even the most unromantic man into a caring, thoughtful, ‘Prince Charming’!
Once you know the secret to making him desire you more, it will feel as though there is a magnet pulling him towards you.
He won’t be able to stop thinking about you. Use this carefully!
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7 Signs That He Totally Adores You (And 5 Signs He’s A KEEPER) By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
When you’re in the rush of dating someone or in a new relationship, it can be hard to think straight.
Sometimes we read more than is there, or we over-think things because we want this to turn into something more.
Here’s 7 signs that he does, indeed, adore you — and it’s very hard to miss these!
And if he adores you, hopefully he’s a keeper, but we’ll also look at some signs to help you tell that as well. So let’s jump in. He adores you if:
1. He shows you his goofy side.
This sounds like a strange one, I’ll admit it. But have you seen a man in love?
He acts pretty goofy. He’ll have a lopsided grin and even act giddy around you. He actually wants to do those “cute little things” that men usually hate, like rubbing noses together and sharing ice cream.
When he adores you, it brings out his cute side, because he feels happy, in love, and open with you.
2. He can’t go a day without hearing from you.
The puppy love stage is so much fun. We’re both infatuated and want to see each other.
In fact, he can’t stand going more than a day without talking to you.
He’ll text you good morning or even call when you’re apart. He’ll check in with you to see how your day is going. And he’ll especially check on you if he knows you’re dealing with something that day that’s hard or stressful.
He might call out of the blue just to hear your voice.
3. He’ll throw caution to the wind.
I mean this in the best way possible: he won’t care what others think about him while he tries to win your heart.
He might make big, bold public displays of affection, like standing up in a park and singing to you.
And he’ll be happy to make a fool of himself.
He might make some big decisions and changes so he can see you more.
He’ll also make you a priority above other things because he wants you to feel special.
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4. He gives you the last one.
You’re sharing a bag of chips, and he looks down to realize there is one chip left.
What happens next will tell you a lot. Does he grab it for himself? Does it offer it to you, hoping you won’t take it? Or does he pick up the last chip and feed it to you?
Not only will he want you to have the last of things, he’ll want to share things with you.
In contrast, I once dated a man who was very sweet… for a while.
One day I spotted a bag of Cornnuts in his truck. It was one of our favorite shared snacks. I happily held up the bag and said, “Look what I found!” I fully expected him to share.
Instead he asked me, rather grumpily, “And can you put them back?”
That’s not how a man who adores you acts!
You’ll know he adores you because when you accidently do something that could offend him, he’ll shrug it off.
He’ll think you’re cute and adorable, and tell you so.
5. He’ll overlook the things that aren’t adorable.
If you’re like me, you’re worried about doing anything that come off as gross or “un-cute” in front of your man.
But life happens.
When a man adores you, he won’t be turned off when you do something embarrassing. It’ll seem like he doesn’t care about leg stubble or morning breath.
Truth be told, when a man is smitten, he might even find it cute when you do something you’d rather not let him see. When he adores you, it’s like you can’t do anything wrong.
6. He’ll want to hold you, hold your hand, cuddle, and gaze into your eyes.
When a man adores you, he shows it with actual adoration. He’ll smile ear to ear and tell people how lucky he is to have you in his life.
The attraction is at a crazy-high level, and he wants to touch you as much as possible.
7. He thinks about you all the time and lets you know it.
He’ll text you about a new restaurant he just saw because he thinks you might like it.
He’ll send your flowers or other surprises to work. He’ll send “miss you” and “thinking about you” texts.
He’ll do things that let you know he thinks about you during his day, like planning a romantic evening or buying you something he knows you’ll love. He might actually write a letter or card, or send a long email.
A man who adores you will let you know how he feels!
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So, you know he adores you, and that probably means that you like him as much.
But does that automatically mean he’s a keeper?
5 Signs he’s a Keeper…
If you’ve found a man who adores you, you’re very lucky. But don’t think that it’s so rare that you have to stick with him.
Instead make sure he’s deserving of you and all your awesomeness by looking at the following five signs that he’s a keeper.
1. He doesn’t want to change you.
It can go to your head when a man adores you, but that doesn’t mean he can start telling you how to act or what you’re allowed to do.
A man worth keeping will be impressed by your talents, skills, achievements, and personality. He’ll let you know he thinks you’re a catch. If he adores you, he should love you just the way you are.
It’s one thing to encourage people, offer advice, and help them. It’s another to try and change them.
A few red flags include when a man tells you what you’re allowed to say, or that you shouldn’t be talking around certain people, or that you need to change how you dress.
Stay away from men who try to mold you into someone you’re not!
2. He notices and remembers the little things.
A keeper will get to know you and remember the important things.
Those important things include little things too. It shows excitement and thoughtfulness that he notices small details about you and your life. This is another sign that he’s invested , wants to impress and please you, and enjoys learning about you.
Some men will naturally love to learn everything about you and want to know all those little details.
A red flag here would be if he brings you flowers repeatedly, when you’ve told him you’re allergic to that kind. Or maybe he always considers his wishes first, and wants to eat somewhere that you don’t like.
I knew I had a problem once when a man I dated always wanted to get spicy, greasy pizza with lots of sausage. It didn’t seem to matter that I told him many times it made me sick.
A keeper will listen to you and remember things about you.
3. He does things to make you feel special.
When a man adores you, it’s easy for him to do things to make you feel special.
The trick is, does he continue to act that way after some time goes by?
It’s really sad if he acts that way for a few months before going back to his true self.
He should give you his full attention when you’re together, and do things to help you out.
He’ll listen to you and be a good friend. He’ll surprise you with gifts. And he’ll value your opinions and desires.
None of us can be perfect all of the time, but a good man who is worth keeping is going to do his best to make you feel like a princess.
4. He talks about a future with you.
If someone adores you, they probably are thinking about a future with you. A keeper is interested in making memories with you and moving toward a future together.
Early on, he might talk about the future in general, like if you want a family or if you have dreams of traveling the world. He might talk about things he’s always wanted to do and see if you’re interested in those as well.
He should actually talk to you and verbalize thoughts about the future, and it’s a good thing to listen and see if he brings the future up, or if it’s just you.
5. He respects you as an equal.
When a man adores you, he puts you first.
That puppy love is great, but as the relationship moves forward, it should grow deeper. He should adore you and respect you.
A real keeper will respect your likes and dislikes, even when you prefer different things than him. You might find a few things where you have different thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.
Can he respect your ideas when they’re different, and talk about them in a respectful way?
He should also see you as an equal in the relationship, with different strengths and weaknesses, but that’s one reason why a relationship helps us so much—we help each other.
You can have different roles but be equally important, and you both get a say in things.
If he’s a keeper, he’ll feel you’re equally important and should have an equal say in things.
If you dream of having a man that showers you with attention and love, like you see other women getting from their men…
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8 Little Mistakes That Make Men Lose Interest By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
You meet a new man and hit it off. You both love to talk and have fun together, and things just click.
But then he stops calling as often and seems to lose interest.
You’re baffled. It was going so well, and he didn’t say anything was wrong.
So what happened?
Let’s step into the mind of men to understand this better. After talking to many men about it, I found some surprising things that make them lose interest.
Let’s take a closer look at 8 little mistakes that women do that make men lose interest.
Some of these might not seem “little” but women sometimes do them very easily, even though they seem like a big deal. I’ll end with some little things that do drive men crazy and make them lose interest.
Mistake #1: Killing the thrill too quickly
A woman reading that might not have any idea what it means.
A man will know instantly: they like chasing a woman, and when she starts talking about being exclusive, the chase is over.
It’s like waiting for Christmas morning, and then you open your presents, the anticipation and excitement is gone.
You see this same effect with free merchandise. If something is free, we often assume it’s not that valuable. “You get what you pay for.” A surprising truth is that customers who overpay are often happier. That seems backwards, doesn’t it? But they feel like they’re getting a really good product.
Someone who buys a BMW, Porsche, or Corvette won’t go around complaining that they spent too much. Just the opposite! They might brag about how much they spent.
In dating, men like to feel like they earned a prize through their own merit.
So let a man chase you. If things go great from the first date, that doesn’t mean that you should drop all other men you’re dating.
Don’t let this new man think that this is a guaranteed thing, because then it’s a boring thing for him.
Mistake #2: Demanding too much from him
Pretend that “Mandy” met a man, it went great, and after a few dates, she assumed they’d start seeing each other more and more.
That can be Mistake #1, listed above, if she goes into committed, comfortable relationship mode too early. You see, that might end any flirting, teasing, and playfulness that men crave.
Even if you’re seeing each other, you can make a man really fall hard if you continue to let him chase you.
Let’s say that Mandy starts expecting him to see her every few nights and begins demanding certain things, which is Mistake #2.
It might not happen that soon, but when a woman starts putting pressure on a man, he can lose interest.
This sounds a little absurd, but we’ve probably all been there. We want a man to fall for us, and then we think that he’ll show his love by doing the things we want.
It can turn into ordering him around, or telling him that he can’t do certain things.
The mistake might also be asking too much, too soon, before he was ready to commit on the same level.
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Mistake #3: Talking about your ex
In a new relationship, exes will come up. There’s a point where you probably need to talk about them, especially if they’re in your life in some form, such as a parenting agreement.
But talking about an ex early on is a big no-no, and will cause a man to lose interest. It doesn’t matter how you’re talking about the ex.
If you’re complaining, that means you’re still hurt and angry, and the ex is still on your mind.
If you’re talking about what good friends you are with your ex, that might indicate future competition and resentment for the new man.
If your new man asks about your ex, keep your answers short and straightforward.
This new man probably wants to know how things stand, so give him an honest answer and move on. Dwelling on your ex in any fashion can cause your new interest to, well, lose interest in you!
Mistake #4: Giving up your life
It’s so exciting to fall in love that it’s easy to focus on your new man. But if you give up your life so you’re always free, he’ll lose interest.
Don’t empty your calendar so you can give all of your time to your new man. Your lives are bound to mix, but it causes problems if you dump your life and try to integrate into his life.
He fell for you the way you were, with your own life and interests, and things to talk about. So if you become someone waiting around to see him, he’ll lose interest.
Keeping your own activities and being unavailable at times makes you more of a catch — see #1 again.
When he gets to see you, it’ll be more special.
And you’ll be happier if you keep your life, friends, and activities, and then you won’t feel like you’re waiting for him to give you some time.
Mistake #5: Gossiping
Gossiping with your girlfriends can be fun, but it can flat-out annoy a man. He probably doesn’t know who you’re talking about, and he’ll see you more negativity, not them.
Studies have shown that when we hear people gossip, the negative feeling we get is attached to the gossiper.
You’re also using time that you could use to talk about your life, goals, dreams, new things you’re learning, or about new things going on in town. Discussing something you’re going through is different. You can share about your life, but don’t dump on your man about people you find irritating — you’ll lose his interest.
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Mistake #6: Sending mixed signals
Sending mixed signals will make a man lose interest quicker than anything else.
You might tell him you don’t mind if he goes out with friends…but then you’re hurt when he does and get angry with him.
Men can’t read minds. We want them to know what we really want, but you can’t test a man this way.
It’s not his fault if he goes by what you say. If you’re hurting and say you’re fine, he might not be able to read the subtle body signals, or be able to connect something that happened last week.
One example is asking him, “Do you think that woman is pretty?”
By asking, you’re indicating that it’s okay for him to answer honestly, but he might not realize you’re testing him.
If you say one thing but act another, he’ll also be confused, and then not know what to do or how to act around you. And he’ll lose interest.
Mistake #7: Doing everything for him
Women show care by doing little things, but men can get annoyed if their woman is trying to do everything for them.
If he’s losing interest, and you don’t know why, consider how many things you try to do for him.
You’re just trying to take care of him, but he might feel like you’re controlling him.
Doing too much, too early, can make him lose interest.
Mistake #8: Always being late and other little things
You probably have friends who are always late to everything. It seems that they can never plan enough time to do their makeup.
Men get annoyed by that too and lose interest, even though some women see it as a power play.
You can make men lose interest with some other seemingly innocent little things like:
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Fishing for complements
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Critiquing other women around you
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Texting other people all the time
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Being more engaged with your phone than him (looking at news, FB, Instragram, or whatever)
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Complaining too often
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Being too picky
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Having a negative outlook
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Always changing plans—saying you’d rather go somewhere else or do something else whenever he suggests something
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Always playing devil’s advocate
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Agreeing to everything he says and not having your own opinion
Maybe you spotted something you’ve done in that list—I think we’ve all done a few of them at different times.
So, now you know 8 things women do that make men lose interest. You probably want to know how to keep a man interested. It’s huge turn on to men if you know your worth.
He met this amazing woman and wants to date her…so don’t doubt yourself!
You have interesting ideas, cool activities, and plans. Men love to talk up their girlfriends and tell others about how smart, cool, fun, and amazing they are.
Many of the mistakes listed above happen because women get afraid that things aren’t going according to plan. They try to read into it too hard, and try to take action to keep things going well.
But when a man falls for you, he’s falling for you the way you are. You shouldn’t have to change or start doing things to keep him interested. When you’re worried, remind yourself that he chose you. He already decided that you’re good enough. In fact, he decided that you’re more than good enough. He wanted to be with you!
One big difference between men and woman is: Men want the woman to stay the same while the woman wants to change the man. So the simple answer is: continue to be yourself and enjoy the relationship, and don’t try to change the man!
Remember that he fell for you and likes you, and you deserve to enjoy your life and be yourself.
Check the mistakes above to ensure you’re not causing him to lose interest, and then you can relax and focus on nurturing an open, caring, committed relationship.
Check out the secret to turning your man into the committed, attentive, romantic guy you have dreamed of right here.
Follow this link:
The Secret To Turn A Man Into A Romantic Prince Charming << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
10 Signs He’s Falling In Love With You By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
When men fall, they can fall hard, and they tend to make sure you know it.
But sometimes men also pretend to fall, or they give mixed signals and you think they’re falling for you.
There’s the guy who will pour on the affection because he wants something, and the guy who gets a thrill from making women fall for him.
Other men might accidentally give you the wrong idea because they like spending time around you…but as a friend.
How do you discern when a man has real feelings, and is really falling for you?
The following 10 signs will clue you in. Seeing a few of these signs could indicate that he’s a good guy or sees you as a friend, but if you see five or more it’s much more likely he’s falling for you.
If you see these signs in a relationship, that’s even better.
But a word of caution. Men can show their feelings differently, so if he’s not doing most of these, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you.
And he might be doing some of these because he knows they work on women.
So take a bird’s eye view of the situation, taking into consideration how many of these signs you see, and how you feel in general about his feelings towards you.
Looking at your situation with these 10 signs in mind will give you a much clearer idea of his true feelings toward you.
1. The look of love
When a man is falling for you, he’ll look at you a certain way. It’ll melt your heart and make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world.
It might be hard to see yourself, but your friends will either see it.
My friend Katie wasn’t sure how Michael felt about her, but once I saw him watching her with big puppy eyes, I knew he was smitten.
When falling for a woman, men will maintain eye contact longer. They’ll want to share lingering looks, and you’ll catch them looking at you when they think you’re not paying attention.
Now, men might be able to fake this look to win you over, but if you see this sign with several other signs, it’s more of a sure thing.
This spills over into other things too. He might have a special pet name for you and share inside jokes.
2. He only has eyes for you
You might have experienced the opposite of this, where a man will check out other women while on a date with you!
Some men try to be sneaky about it. Others don’t seem to care if you notice.
A man that is falling for you, however, will make sure to give you his full attention, even when it could be wandering.
Of course, some men are just respectful and won’t look at other women, even if they aren’t falling for you. (That’s why you always want to look for several of these signs.)
But a man who’s falling for you will also give indication that he’s not seeing other women and will want to focus on you. He won’t talk about other women or text others while he’s with you.
And you’ll definitely notice him appreciating how you look. He’ll give you that look, the one we talked about in the first sign. And he’ll complement how you look too.
And usually, a man who’s falling in love with you will want to talk about being exclusive so he knows you’re off the market as well.
3. He goes out of his way to do favors for you
Many men are “doers”, meaning that they show their feelings through actions.
A man that’s falling for you might drive several hours to get something for you, or he might bring you something that you mentioned liking. He’ll bring you soup when you’re sick and find other ways of doing favors for you.
Men are more likely to show love with acts of service than words and cuddles, although a man falling in love usually likes those too.
He’ll also do things to make your life easier, like fixing something for you, taking care of something that’s hard for you to do, or running an errand for you.
You’ll notice that he wants you to feel pampered and spoiled, and he wants things to be easier for you.
This is a big sign, because a man who’s faking it to get something from you won’t want to do these kinds of things for you.
A faker will pour on complements and tell you how good you look, but he won’t bring you soup and tissue when you’re sick or go pick up groceries for you.
Now, a man who sees you as a friend will do nice things to help you out, but you can usually tell the difference because he won’t show up with some little treat that you mentioned once.
A man who’s falling for you will do random acts of service and want to make your day brighter.
4. He shares his interests and activities with you
A man interested in only one thing will not want to share his life with you.
A man who is falling for you, on the other hand, will want to tell you all about his interests, hobbies, friends, and life.
He’ll want to learn about your interests too, and share experiences together.
A man who is playing the field won’t talk as much about the rest of his life. Instead, he’ll be more secretive.
This is another big sign.
Sure, people usually talk and share quite a bit on the first few dates, but does he continue to tell you about his activities?
When he’s falling for you, he’ll want you to be his go-to person. He’ll want to share about his day, what happened, and what it means to him. Basically, he’ll want to keep you up to date.
If he’s falling, he’ll invite you to join some of his activities, meet his friends and family, and get involved in his life.
Men might do this with a female friend, but if you’re dating and he wants you involved in his life, it’s a pretty clear sign he’s falling for you.
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5. He values your input.
Now when your man is sharing with you, does he ask your opinion?
That’s a big part of sharing like we just discussed in sign #4.
He might tell you about what’s going on at work and ask if you think that means they’re considering him for a promotion, or if it looks like trouble ahead.
He’ll share with you wanting support and feedback.
Men don’t run their problems past people and ask for input unless they respect and trust that person.
If a man is falling for you, and thinking about a long-term relationship, he’ll want you to know what’s going on in his life, and he’ll want to know what you think about it.
Male friends might do this, but they tend to talk to other guys about most life things.
Men don’t do this with women if they’re after a fling or just the thrill of the chase.
A man who’s interested in you, or dating you, who values your thoughts on what’s going on in his life, is very into you.
6. He contacts you first
The romantic comedy “He’s just not that into you” has many insights into men.
It’s a bit harsh, but we learn: If he’s not calling you, it’s because he doesn’t want to talk to you. It’s not because he’s being held hostage or sent on a secret mission.
If a man only talks to you when you text first, it’s a bad sign.
If a man if falling for you, he’ll call and text.
He’ll also want to spend time with you and stretch out goodbyes, on the phone, texting, and in person.
This is another sign that’s pretty clear. If he’s falling for you, he’ll have to talk to you every day unless it’s a super busy day or there’s a very good reason for it.
When men fall big time, they want to check in with you and make sure that you’re thinking about them.
That’s because, when a man falls in love, he wants to make sure he’s your number one guy, and that no one else can steal you away.
7. He wants you to meet his family
If a man is serious about a woman and thinking about the future, he’ll definitely be thinking about how you’ll get along with his family.
Clue #1 here: does he talk about his family and friends?
In the early stages, he’ll tell you about the other people in his life.
And as things get more serious, he’ll want you to meet them.
It’s a pretty big indicator if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and he doesn’t want you introduce you to the important people in his life.
Now, in some cases, there might be reasons why he feels that wouldn’t be good: maybe he’s not that proud of his family, or he has kids and wants to take things slow in that respect.
But you can tell when your relationship has reached the point that you should have met his family, or you know why you haven’t—and let’s be real. At some point, even if he’s taking it slow, you should meet his children or family.
A man who is falling for you will want to introduce you to people he cares about.
8. He shows concern.
When you have a problem, he wants to solve it. He wants you to be happy and comfortable with different situations.
He’ll want to hear about your life and things you’re dealing with, and help you when he can.
That makes him feel like he’s a part of your life—and that’s a huge sign that he’s falling for you.
If a man is falling, he’ll be protective towards you. Don’t take this to mean he sees you as weaker.
It’s just, when you love someone and want them in your life, you want to keep them safe.
9. He brings up the future
A man in love with you will ask about your future plans and want to be a part of them.
He’ll think of your first for concerts, a plus-two event, and social gatherings.
He’ll ask what you think about life and what your dreams are.
Someone who is faking or not really interested in sharing a future might talk about taking you somewhere, but it never goes further than talking.
If he’s falling, he’ll want to check if you’re on the same page as him for a future “we” and “us”.
That brings me to the last sign…”
10. He uses “we” more than I.
If a man is hanging out with you, thinking it’s a “fun thing” or “no strings attached” or “two consenting adults”, he might talk about doing things together or even talk about this life with you.
But he won’t use “we” that often.
A man who is falling in love with talk about “we” and think of you as a couple.
In fact, a man who is falling hard and fast will meet most of the signs. If you’re experiencing that, it’s one of the best rushes in life. Congrats!
If he meets most of these signs, it’s a very good chance he’s falling for you too.
We’ve talked about how fakers will work, so you can go through these signs and really see if your man is falling for you.
And then enjoy it!
Check out this video that shares a secret that will lead his brain to being flooded with a powerful SPIKE of addictive emotions:
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Lust… Passion… Uncontrollable desire…
He’s finally going to stop focusing his attention on cars, his buddies, sports, whatever…
And YOU will be his sole focus!
How to Make Him Miss You Like Crazy by Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
There are few things more sweet and romantic than reuniting with the man you love, and having him run to you and wrap his arms around you.
Imagine him hugging you tightly and telling you how much he missed you.
It’s also very heartwarming when your man sends sweet texts even while he’s busy to let you know that you’re on his mind.
And it’s even better when he has to hear your voice because he misses you.
We all dream of a man missing us this way, but how do you make that happen?
It can be hard when you’ve shared a home for many years and spend a lot of time together. But that doesn’t mean you don’t crave that feeling!
Chasing a man and trying to make him miss you seems to backfire — you end up looking needy and clingy, and he might run the other way. I’d like to share a better way.
Let’s look at 7 things you can do that will not only give him reason to miss you, but these tips will make you happier too.
Because, the truth is, it’s not about tricking him into missing you, but more about being someone he’ll want to miss.
Let’s dive into 7 ways to make him miss you like crazy!
1. Give him space and time to miss you
We usually have our phone in our hand, pocket, or bag, or sitting close by so we can text and talk anytime we want.
We tag people when we see a post they might like or send them a funny meme.
That’s great, but it’s hard for someone to miss you when you’re right in front of them all day.
So give him a little space to miss you. Give him some room to wonder what you’re doing.
Wait a bit to reply to his texts and calls to create a sense of longing before you reply to him.
If you seem busy, you seem more attractive because that means you have a life, and you’ll have more to talk about when you do talk to him.
2. Be more social
Pretend for a minute that your boyfriend or husband takes you to a party where you don’t know people.
You could:
A. stay by his side because you’re nervous about talking to people
B. Get out and mingle
If you’re like me, Option A is the more comfortable one.
But imagine if you grabbed a drink and mingled with people. He’s free to chat with his friends, and then he’ll look over and see you having fun. And that will make him miss you.
Of course, you should spend time together, and he should introduce you to people. But remember to step away from him once in a while.
3. Invest in yourself and your life
The previous tip to “step away” is true in the rest of your life as well. Find fun things to do so you’re not always waiting and available to do something with him.
Find a few things you love to do, or something to get involved in:
-
A new hobby, social group, hiking group, or something from Meetup.com
-
Traveling
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Trying a new restaurant every week
-
Forming a new group for one of your interests, like a mastermind for your field, an acting group, or even a social meeting you set up.
Go out and have fun, and then tell him about it!
Why does this make him miss you? Men like to be the reason you’re smiling.
Get this—men are genetically programmed so that they want to be the sole factor in making you happy, or in making you smile.
So when other things make you happy, it triggers his “oh boy, I better pay attention to her” button.
He might feel a bit jealous, or that he’s not doing his job, or he might even worry that he’ll lose you because you’re having such a great life without his help.
So let him know you’re having fun without him, out with friends, a girl’s night, a hike, or a road trip. He see that you have a lot going on, and he’ll want to be a part of it all.
Men perceive women as sexier when they’re happy and have their own things going on. It equates with success.
Social media can help you out with this too. One of the best ways to make a man miss you is by showing your full, full, fun, and independent life on social media. (You don’t have to share everything and share all the time. Even a few photos can do wonders.)
Let him see this new, independent you via social media. Share your new classes and adventures.
For this to really work, don’t text him while you’re out doing these things. Let him see them on your Facebook or Instagram. It’ll drive him crazy.
There are lots of ways to get inside his mind, using secret mind tricks.
Get the full details on how to use these to Respark The Romance here << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
4. Tease him
Men loves a challenge and they love games.
So when a relationship falls into the comfortable stage, it can feel like a boring rut.
Remember Tip # 1, and don’t go overboard with texts, but when you do text, make it fun and flirty.
Tease him a little. Think about being the mysterious, sexy, siren. Send him a photo of a little black dress and say, “Wonder where I could wear this…”
A slightly suggestive text is much more intriguing than an outright naughty one.
If he’s wondering about you and wondering what kind of fun he’s missing out on, he’ll miss you.
You might send a photo of new lingerie, a new outfit, or something that will excite him.
5. Remember to have fun
If you want him to miss you, he needs a reason to.
You might feel like he hasn’t been missing you because he doesn’t seem as interested as he once was.
Maybe the relationship has been focused on “fixing things” or talking things out often, or there’s been more complaining.
Maybe you’re just busy living life, and you haven’t gotten to go out on dates, weekend trips, or other fun things that couples do.
Bring the fun back. Have a date night where you leave any issues behind and enjoy the moment.
That won’t fix any issues you’ve been dealing with, but it might help with those, and it’ll make him miss you when he goes back to work and to dealing with other things.
He’ll smile thinking about the good time that you had together, and that will make him want more.
6. Show him your adventurous side
Many women love to read romance. Men tend to like books and movies with adventure…and romance thrown in.
Men often love the thrill of the chase, competing, and going on an adventure.
Men’s Health magazine even reported that if you want a man to miss you, it’s important for you share adventure.
Being adventures might mean actually going out and doing things like mountain biking, hiking, canoeing, or trying a new sport.
It can also mean that you’re open to new experiences, even something small like trying a new restaurant or food that you’re not sure about.
And it definitely can mean being spontaneous where you decide to take off somewhere fun for the day.
You might try some new adventures on your own so he’ll see what he’s missing.
7. Wear a sexy new scent (or one he loves)
Many of these tips are about getting his attention and making things feel new again.
If you’re around your man, and it feels like he never misses you when you’re apart, try wearing a sexy new scent.
Just like changing your appearance, changing your perfume can make him feel like he’s dating someone new, but with the comfort of knowing you.
That new smell will draw him in because he’ll want to smell more of it, and a sexy new scent is very alluring and enticing to men.
Switch up your perfumes, and bring one back that you know he loves.
That can trigger happy memories and make him feel closer to you.
8. Leave some mystery…
Men love intrigue, mystery, games, and adventure.
You might feel like you can’t have that if you’ve been together a long time. But there are many ways to be mysterious in a conversation, such as telling him, “Maybe I’ll tell you after dessert…”
Let’s say he hears about something but doesn’t know all of the details. When he asks, you can be playful and answer, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Even telling a man, “It’s a surprise” can get him thinking about you all day.
You can plan some small surprises for him, along with holding back on telling him things.
I don’t mean to hide things from him, but a fun and flirty secret is good for a relationship, and gives him something to look forward to.
If you leave some mystery and have him guessing, he’ll be thinking about you and missing you. He’ll also be thankful and excited about the mystery and secret that awaits.
These tips entice men into missing you, and they’re not about playing games or doing things you don’t want to do.
In essence, you’re being someone he’ll want to miss.
Try these tips and see if your man misses you more, while you’re having more fun too!
And if you have a few extra minutes right now… discover how to trigger a flood of emotions and desire in your man’s mind.
Click Here to check out Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
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6 Tips To Make Her Desire You More By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
Life isn’t fair in many ways, and one way is this: women know how to turn men on. They dress up and give men that look, and bam! The man wants her.
It works when they walk into a room and he sees her for the first time, and it works after years together.
Men, however, are left scratching their heads and wondering how to make a woman desire him more.
You don’t have to wonder any longer. But first, drop all your preconceived ideas about how to get a woman to desire you.
What you think and what you’ve read online aren’t the keys to attracting a woman and getting her to want you.
You see, with both men and women, it’s about how you make the other person feel.
And women have different needs than men. They want to be desired, cherished, valued, and adored.
They want to feel like you’re an amazing catch but you want only them.
So, let’s dig into the real ways to get her to desire you more...
1. Listen to her
Let’s start with an easy step. Just listen to her.
Okay, so it might not be that easy, because I mean to actually listen, understand, and let her know that you’re listening and understanding her. The #1 complaint you’ll hear from women in a relationship is, “He never listens to me anymore!”
So if you want to respark her desire...or attract her for the first time...learn to listen.
Watch her eyes and expression, and pay attention to how she feels and what she’s thinking. Show her that she can talk to you. Be a safe space so she could open up, and talk to you about anything.
If you’re not sure how to have a conversation like this with a woman, simply ask her questions about what she’s saying.
For example: She says, “My friend Marcy gets so jealous...”
You ask, “Have I met Marcy?” or “What does she do?” or “Did someone tell you that?”
You can also show her you’re listening with statements like, “That’s tough. I can see why she’s jealous of you though.”
When you really listen to a woman, she feels valued and close to you, and that’s a huge turn on. Score even more points: when she starts talking, put your phone down and turn all your attention on her.
2. Ask her what she likes
Try something new and ask her if she likes it.
If you normally have a beard, shave it. Show up with your smooth face, pull her hand up to feel, and ask her how she likes it. Try a new cologne. Spray it on your wrist or neck, and get her to smell it so you can ask if she likes it.
This gets her thinking about you, intrigued, and happy because you care what she thinks.
This works in many other ways too. Try doing anything differently and ask her what she thinks about it. The fact that you’re doing new things and trying to please her will get her to desire you more.
There are many secret ways to get her to desire you more.... and the most powerful ones are shared in
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3. Be Mr. Hollywood...for her
You know those movie scenes where the hero struts out in his tux, flashing a brilliant ear to ear smile, and has his hair styled?
Be that man. Show up fancied up and charm her.
Be daring, dashing, and fun. Let her feel like she’s with the hottest man in the room. You don’t actually have to be the hottest, most fit guy around. It’s all about how you treat her.
Have eyes for her and her alone. Lean in and look into her eyes while she talks. Make sure to give her a dreamy look. Basically, be James Bond who is in love with her, like she’s the only woman in the world.
It’s like crack to women, and she’ll ask for the ticket early so she can get you home and into the bedroom.
4. Avoid the “friend” zone and relationship rut
Some men get put into the friend zone way too often and they’re not sure why.
And other men have a relationship, but it feels more like a friendship than anything romantic or sexy. You try to be nice, and you’re not sure what you’re doing wrong.
“Nice” is not always sexy.
In fact, in a relationship, a woman might come to expect you to do all of those things, and they might not turn her on or make her want you.
Women need flirting and compliments. They want you to make them feel sexy.
When you meet a new woman, make sure to flirt, lean close to talk, listen to her, and read her body language. Don’t worry about coming off as sleazy. If you don’t let her know you like her and want her, she’ll put you in the friend zone and move on.
Trying to be a friend first will mostly likely kill your chances of being romantic!
Being a woman’s confidant and partner is like being a friend, but it has chemistry, sexual tension, and teasing. Even in a relationship, women still want flirting. They still want to be chased.
If you want her to desire you more, take her out and treat her like it’s a first date. You’ll be amazed by the results.
5. Touch, the gold currency in relationships
One easy way to get put into the friend zone is to not touch a woman.
If you’re in a relationship and wondering why she doesn’t want you that often, it might be that you’re not touching her throughout the day. Even scientific studies have proven that women benefit from a 5 minute hug from their significant other. Their happy hormones spike.
Think of it as a slow warm up. Hold her hand in the car or while walking. Lay her hand on her leg. Wrap your arm around her shoulders.
Play with her hair. Most women love that unless they have their hair done to go somewhere.
Caress her arm. Cuddle her.
If you touch your partner throughout the day, by evening she’ll be anxious for bedtime!
6. Notice the remember the little things
Stan has been married six years, and it doesn’t take much time around him and his wife to see she’s very happy and very into him.
What’s his secret? When he brings her roses, he gets her favorite color. (It’s light purple.) When he picks up groceries, he’ll bring home a little treat for her, and it’ll be something that she mentioned liking once.
He says he just remembers her offhand comments because she’ll reveal big things. Women will mention that they like something when they see it, and if you remember that, you can score big points later.
Pretty easy, right? But so many men miss this.
If you know she collects something, you can get her one and make her day.
Now imagine if you apply this in the bedroom. You notice she likes touched a certain way or in a certain place, and you have the key to making her want you more. If you want to get her something sexy to wear, make sure you know what colors she likes.
Sometimes men have the wrong idea about what women want, and what will make a woman desire him more.
Look past all the hype you read online about upping your style or playing games.
Women want attention: they want you to listen, to really see them, to value their ideas, to touch them, to tell them their beautiful, and to spend time with them.
If you put in some effort, you’ll be hugely rewarded with a woman who desires you more.
And if you want to be rewarded with desire, intimacy, and lust on a regular basis, you need your very own copy of Respark The Romance
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9 Ways To Make Her Fall In Love With You - All Over Again! By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
Falling in love is such a sweet memory.
And it doesn’t have to be just a memory. You can fall in love all over again.
You can actually respark the passion and romance many times in your relationship, and keep it alive with a little intention and thought.
If you want to make your partner fall in love with you again, try these tips.
Some will seem too easy to make a difference, but even the simple, little things listed here will be a game changer.
1. Kiss her forehead
I really did mean easy!
But kissing a woman’s forehead tells her that you love you and want to take care of her. This is a lingering, sweet kiss on the forehead, one that embodies what your partner really means to you.
It has a certain tenderness that gives it extra meaning. It’s just a super simple but moving gesture that will make her fall in love with you.
You’re showing her that she means the world to you, and that will mean the world to her!
2. Embrace when you get home from work
There are many interesting studies about the effects of an embrace for a woman.
Did you know that a man hugs his partner, it causes hormone surges and happy feelings? It literally affects her health. When you embrace when you see each other again after work, it reaffirms your connection, relieves stress, and brings her joy. It’s your way of rushing to her and showing her that you missed her and you’re so glad to be home with her again.
It’s nice for everyone, and it rekindles the romance and love, and then keeps it going strong.
3. Create something together
Couples who create things together weather storms in life better and have happy, long term relationships.
Having a home and raising a family certainly counts, when you work together. It can also keep you busy so that you forget about being a romantic couple. So it’s beneficial to have things that you do together, especially projects, a business, charity work, or something else that you build in some way.
If you’ve grown apart and you want to rekindle your romance, find something you can create together. Ask her to join you in a project, or even ask what kind of project she’d like to do.
There’s landscaping, painting the home, remodeling, or maybe she has a creative project she’s been wanting to do.
Working together and having fun will help her fall in love with you once again.
4. Knows when she's upset and make it better
Most men will step up and take care of their partner when she’s sick.
It will really touch her if you notice when she’s emotionally hurting or overwhelmed. If you can learn her cues and notice when something is up, and then try to help, she will fall in love with you all over again. Ask her what’s going on, or if there’s anything you can do to help, or if you did something to upset her.
We all go through times when we’re sad, either due to something happening or just because. You can make those times better by talking, holding her, or giving her some time while you take care of things around the house.
Also consider making her dinner, or bringing her tea and cookie in bed while she reads, to let her have some relaxing time.
She’ll fall in love with you again because you noticed that she needed some extra attention, and because you’re happy to take care of her.
But truly winning her desire is about much more than just taking care of her. If you're looking for the full picture of how to spark a woman's unending desire for you... I urge you to click the link here and get the secret to Respark The Romance:
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5. Make some “us” time
If you really want her to fall in love with you again, remind her why she did in the first place.
Plan a date night or weekend away, or even set up a little while each day that is just for the two of you. Go to bed a little earlier, light candles, and give each other full body massages.
If there’s something you used to do together that you don’t anymore, bring that back.
Find some fun activities that you’ll both enjoy, and dedicate some time to them so you can truly relax and not worry about other things.
Making time for and focusing on her will respark the romance for sure.
6. Engage in pillow talk
It turns out that the minutes after sex are very important to the health of your relationship.
Two studies (one at the University of Connecticut in 2013 and one at University of Toronto in 2014) found that couples who spent a few minutes talking and snuggling after sex were much happier with their sex life and relationship.
That pillow talk is often what brings couples close together, and it’s sure to make her fall in love with you again.
7. Write a love letter
Yes, go all out and get super romantic, and write your feelings out on paper.
This is more than a sweet text or even an email, although those are good for your relationship too. If you want to win her over again, try writing a letter to her about what she means to you. You can start with a card to inspire you, and add to it with a sweet letter.
A few ideas to include in your letter:
Remember when...
You help me with...
I love how you...
You’re so wonderful because...
I wouldn’t be where I am without you...
I want to help you and encourage you in...
I’m so excited about...
Women know writing a love letter is a big deal for a man, so it will drive home how serious you are about her and falling in love again.
8. Ask her what she wants to happen
There’s power in surprising her with kind acts and sweet things, but to respark your love you probably need to find out what’s been going on for her.
What is she happy with? What needs to change?
Was there something that happened to hurt the relationship, and how can you fix it?
What can you do to show your love?
If you ask her to spend a day with you to focus on your relationship, she’ll start falling in love again.
9. Have a day for her
I once knew a couple that seemed very happy. Ashley shared with me one time that Daniel would have “Ashley days” where it was all about her.
I thought that seemed a little selfish on her part at first.
But I saw how he wanted to make her feel special, and by doting on her, he knew she was very happy and in love with him.
On “Ashley days” she got to pick what they did for the entire day. I heard of rides in hot air balloons and also days where they sat on the beach. Sometimes they kept it pretty simple, but she got to pick what they had for dinner and watch movie they watched.
If you’re trying to win over your partner and get her to fall in love again, consider having a day for her. Spoil her, tell her sweet things, let her pick what you do, and show her what she means to you.
You’ll have fun too because you get to see how happy it makes her, and I can guarantee that she’ll want to do some sweet things for you too.
Try these tips and watch her heart melt. She’ll soon be falling in love with you all over again.
And if you want even more tips... you should check out the "Sexual Rubber Band Trick" at Respark The Romance:
The trick that will spark her desire for passion and intimacy with you << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
10 Things She Would LOVE To Hear You Say By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
Words are powerful. They can destroy, or restore, a relationship.
The little things we say to our partner can make her day, boost her confidence, bring you closer together, and better your relationship.
If you put a little thought into your words, you can make a huge difference in your relationship. In fact, knowing some of the right things to say to a woman can make a good relationship great.
Don’t be stingy with compliments. Better yet, know what to say and when to say it.
Here’s 10 things she will love to hear from you.
1. “You look amazing.”
Every woman loves knowing that her man finds her attractive and noticed that she dressed up.
You’ll boost her confidence in herself, and in the relationship because you appreciate how she looks. Use this one when you’re leaving for a special occasion or date, or when she’s trying on clothes, or she’s trying to look nice.
If you notice she’s wearing a new scent, tell her she smells amazing.
2. “You’re so beautiful.”
This one is especially powerful if you tell her when she first wakes up, or any time when you catch her being beautiful without trying or knowing it.
Tell her when she’s not wearing makeup that she’s beautiful.
If she’s all messy from working in the garden, and you like the way she smiles at you, tell her so.
It’s not always about the way she looks. When we’re in love with someone, we see beauty in what they do.
If she’s doing something she loves, pause and appreciate the beauty in that and tell her how beautiful she looks.
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3. “You’re so smart.”
Women like to be complimented on more than their looks.
Imagine that your partner offers a suggestion and you realize it’ll help. Tell her, “You’re so smart!” It might be something simple or an issue between co-workers, but show your gratitude for her insight.
Sometimes you can tell her she’s smart even if she didn’t just say something.
4. “You know what I love about you?”
People enjoy hearing what others like about them. Your partner will love hearing what you specifically love.
This phrase is fun because it gets you thinking about all the little things you adore about her, and then you can let her know.
Be specific—what exactly do you love about her? Her laugh? Her smile? The way she hums while she works? The way she organizes the house? The way she listens intently?
5. “You’re right.”
Natural human instinct is to argue a point, even if we start to doubt it.
We’ll realize we’re wrong and continue to push our opinion.
Other times, we realize the other person is right, but we don’t acknowledge it.
In a relationship, it’s important to communicate, and to show the other person you value them. When she’s right, let her know.
You can use this when she makes a suggestion about something you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be during an argument. Just say, “Wow, you’re right. That’s a good idea.” And when you’ve disagreed but realize she’s right, go ahead and tell her then too!
It will stop an argument in its tracks. Usually, she’ll soften and try to see your perspective too.
Or it can end an argument and let you move on.
6. “We’re in this together.”
It’s so nice to know someone has your back.
If she’s dealing with something, you can make the situation so much easier.
She’ll know you’re committed to her and helping her.
You can say this when she’s facing something with her family, friends, financially, her health, or even her work.
7. “You’re the only one for me.”
This is what to say when you want to melt her heart. It shows your adoration, your love, and your commitment.
This is one of those romantic things that really brings you closer together and makes her feel in love with you, even if you’ve been together for years.
8. I’m proud of you.
Or, I’m proud to be your man. This is something everyone needs to hear.
It means so much to know your partner is proud of you.
Men need respect, but women also need to know that their partner is proud of them and proud that they’re together.
Tell her you’re proud of her when she does something amazing, when she gets a promotion, or just because.
9. What do you think?
Or, can I get your perspective on this? What do you think about this?
Women love it when you ask their opinion and show that you care about what they think. It’s also nice that you want their advice, and even nicer when you take it.
You’ll score big points for including her in decisions when you don’t need to, but you want to.
10. I need you.
One of the sweetest things I ever heard of was a man saying, “Need you, want you, love you.”
“I need you” is a way to let your woman know how much she means to you. Your partner will like to hear that you love her, but sometimes it’s nice to know that someone needs you too.
This says that she’s a part of you.
Knowing what to say and when to say it will put an extra sparkle in her eye. Try some of these in the following week, and watch what happens in your relationship.
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7 Ways To Tell You Have A Keeper By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
You met the person who makes your heart sing and your face hurt from smiling...
...but does that mean they’re a keeper?
Many people could make us happy, especially in the short term, but it’s harder to tell if the two of you will be compatible and happy together down the road.
Let me clarify upfront that no couple is 100% happy all of the time, because we all have small differences and will occasionally get on each other’s nerves. The important thing is that you’re in a relationship that makes you satisfied and happy in general—that makes you excited about life and sharing it.
Let’s look at 7 signs that you are, indeed, with a true Keeper.
Sign #1: You can have fun together
This seems like a big “duh” at first. But look closer, and you’ll find that some couples actually don’t have fun together.
In the beginning, you might have fun doing things together, but is it something both couples enjoy?
I’ve had many female friends who fell for a man, and thought that he liked doing things they did. It turns out the man was trying to impress her. The same goes for ladies. Women will go do things that they don’t enjoy just to spend time with their new man. Because they’re infatuated, they don’t care as much, and they see it as spending time together.
Aimee spent four months dating a man before she realized they actually didn’t do anything together besides eat out. That realization prompted her to ask “Rick” about his interests and what he liked to do for fun. It turns out they didn’t have anything that they both liked to do—not even close.
There are other couples who do things, but they fight and bicker, or spend the time on their phones instead of interacting. If your partner is a keeper, you’ll have some activities that you can share, and things that you both find fun.
Mark and Emily had a blast on their first date. They went to sushi and then out to play pool. The following dates were fun too, but soon after making it an official relationship, Emily no longer wanted to go out. When they did, she didn’t seem to enjoy it.
Having fun might sound silly, but it’s a critical component to any relationship.
Sign #2: You share some interests
Sharing interests will be a big help in having fun together.
Even if it’s going to an arcade and playing pinball, you should have some way to connect. You might both be into fitness, or cooking, or travel. Maybe you both like puzzles, chess, or video games.
If you’re lucky, you and your partner will have many shared interests so you have lots to talk about and do to together.
On the other end of the spectrum are couples like Heather and Jason, who had nothing in common. Heather was a nurse who liked sports. Jason wasn’t an active person, and he liked fixing up cars to race. They both had other interests, but there wasn’t anything they seemed to both like. They didn’t get involved in each other’s activities either.
After just two years together, they spent their evenings apart. She would play basketball while he went to a friend’s garage to tinker with an engine.
They actually had a weekly date night, but it wasn’t enough to keep them together.
None of their interests matched up, and they grew apart.
Sign #3: You match up on big things
Our couple Heather and Jason had other problems too, which illustrates this point.
They didn’t really agree on beliefs. In the beginning, Jason “went along” with Heather’s religious beliefs for a little while, but he didn’t actually believe them.
They had different ideas about being healthy too.
On top of that, she was against any kind of drinking because her father had been an alcoholic while Jason was a beer drinker.
Neither of them were in the wrong, but having different (and strong) beliefs on things made it very hard for them to come together.
You need to match up on the big things to have a “keeper” relationship.
Many studies have found that relationships work out and are more successful when the two people match up on some key items.
You’re much more likely to be with a keeper if you have similar:
- Beliefs
- Values
- Social status
- Overall health
- Education
- Desire for children
- Life goals
You don’t have to match exactly on everything, but the more items you’re different on, the more friction you’ll have.
It might not be a big deal if one person has a college degree while the other barely finished high school, but it could lead to problems with earning potential.
If one person is a health nut while the other one has health problems, or just doesn’t take care of themselves, it can cause problems.
It’s usually a huge issue if one person wants kids while the other doesn’t.
If you think you’re with a keeper, talk about the things that are important to you and see how you match up. If you’re different on some things, do you see ways to compromise or a way that both people can be happy with the outcome?
And if you’re crossing over to your partner’s way of doing things or thinking, will you be happy with that in 5 years? Or will you come to resent them?
It’s a big issue to think about.
Sign #4: You complement each other
While it’s important to “compliment” each other, i.e. say nice things, in this case I’m talking about complementing each other—you complete each other in some areas.
This is where opposites do attract. That saying is popular because it’s true.
We just discussed how important it is to agree on big issues. This doesn’t contradict that because it’s a different matter.
If you and your partner have all the same strengths and weaknesses, you won’t complement each other. You won’t help each other grow. But if you’re good at different things, and together your skill sets, talents, and knowledge work together, you’re like a super team.
The idea here is that you go together well. Your personalities work together, and you can offer something to the other person. A good example of this not working comes from Amanda and Jeff. They hit it off and everyone agreed they were soul mates.
They were so alike, how could they not be?
Well, it turned out that they were so alike that they got bored with each other quickly, even though things started out like some fairytale love story.
Sign #5: You Respect Each Other
A long term relationship involves many things like love, trust, and respect. You need that for when things do get hard, and you might resent your partner or grow bitter.
A keeper will respect you, and your beliefs, values, ideas, and opinions.
Even if you match up on the first 4 signs, it can be a huge problem if your partner will make jokes at your expense, interrupt you often, laugh at you, talk about you to others in a negative way, or treat you in any way that isn’t with respect.
One way to catch this one is if your partner often says, “I was only joking.” If they hurt you or put you down and add “I was only joking” that means they’re not respecting you. It’s not okay to hurt people and then call it a joke.
Sign #6: You communicate
A keeper will open up and share with you. And in a relationship, you’ll know what’s going on in their lives.
Life is so much easier with a partner who can articulate their emotions and thoughts, and it’s a huge plus when they can listen and really understand you.
Luckily people can learn to communicate better. In fact, we can learn new communication skills all through our life. So it’s important that your partner communicates and is open to improving communication skills.
You can be in a relationship with someone for some time and then learn that they communicate differently than you—and that will open new ways to connect.
If your partner values communication, you might be with a keeper.
Sign #7: You work through the tough things
What’s easier:
Stonewalling your partner while you complain about the issue to friends and coworkers, or... Talking to your partner about what’s bothering you and work through it?
Some of us will pick the first option if we’re honest.
We don’t want to bring up a touchy subject or do something that will result in confrontation. Other people will nitpick, make snarky remarks, and use sarcasm instead of talking through an issue. And some of us would rather just break up and start over with someone new than fix problems in a current relationship.
If you have a keeper, however, that person will be willing to hear you out when you need to talk, and will also speak up when things need changed.
A keeper will make a commitment to you through thick and thin.
If your partner meets these 7 signs, congratulations! You have a keeper.
If they’re close, you can always work on some things. You might have found a few things to work on yourself!
10 Secrets of Happy Couples By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
Happy couples really enjoy each other’s company. They’re supportive of one another. They even exhibit a vibrant sense of sexuality and romance.
It’s a powerful combination!
The good news is you can have a happy relationship—without finding a new partner.
Achieving a happy relationship just takes developing the right habits and skills. It simply takes some “secret” information and a desire to make your relationship the very best. And by “secret,” I actually mean you can read it right here.
Happy couples simply have different habits than unhappy couples. It’s these habits that make their relationship so great. It takes around 21 days for new a behavior to become a habit, but you can reap the rewards from the habit right away. And after a few weeks, your new relationship behaviors will become habits and keep your relationship vibrant and happy.
Even if you slip up with the habits you choose to implement, just make a new commitment and keep going.
Let’s look at 10 habits that make couples happy couples—the last 3 might surprise you!
1. Happy couples communicate and listen with an open mind and heart
It’s all too easy to get into negative communication patterns and cycles.
We start out as a happy couple, but then little annoyances turn into the silent treatment, smack talk, nasty come backs, and it gets worse from there.
Even fun sassing can hurt feelings and lead to something worse if it’s not addressed.
As little things grow, you might see criticism and defending, demanding communication and withdrawal, and outright fighting. People start to feel like they’re not heard, that their partner doesn’t care, that the other person nags, or that the other person is always angry or passive-aggressive.
This is not grounds for a healthy relationship! So what do happy couples do differently?
They clear things up, which is another point we’ll talk about soon. Before that, they have different communication habits. Happy couples are more present when they’re communicating, really listening to the other person. That means listening to listen, not to plan what you want to say. Take a conversation and make it your goal to simply listen and see what you can do for your partner.
Happy couples hear the other’s needs and take them seriously. They validate the other person.
If you can listen with an open heart and mind, you can hear your partner better and create a sense of being on the same team.
That’s huge in relationships, and it can transform a relationship that’s going through a rough patch.
2. Happy couples support each other’s happiness
People in a happy relationship think about their partner’s happiness, and show that by being thoughtful, celebrating the other’s success, and stepping up to do extra work when needed.
A happy relationship is a give and take. Sometimes, one person gives 150% because the other is sick, hurt, or going through something. And then things change, and the other person gives more. They both help the other because they love them and want them to be happy.
Happy couples don’t keep score—nothing is ever truly equal, but you can both do things and show love in different ways. And people in a happy relationship are truly happy for the other when they succeed. It’s not a competition, but a partnership.
You can tell a lot about a relationship if you watch how they react to good news from the other.
You can make a huge difference in your relationship by being enthusiastic about your partner’s personal and professional achievements.
3. Happy couples make time for romance and sexuality
Happy couples feel close to each other, and that comes from sharing many different things.
Intimacy is one thing that can keep a couple close even when they both have busy lives. Time together and having fun can inspire romance and a healthy sex life.
Consider having a weekly date night or a monthly weekend if you can.
Healthy couples have time daily where they can focus on each other.
4. Happy couples don’t expect each other to change
Happy couples don’t try to change each other.
That eliminates a lot of conflict, arguments, nagging, and unsatisfied expectations. Of course, you’re wondering how you can overlook all those things that annoy you.
Focus on the good instead. Compliment your partner when they do something you like.
The thing is, whatever you look for, you can find. So if you’re annoyed and on the lookout for negative things, you’ll find them. The same is true for good things. If you look for things to appreciate, you’ll start to see your partner in a more positive light.
If something truly bothers you, you should discuss it with your partner. But consider if it’s really a small issue that you’ve turned into something more, or if it’s a true issue.
5. Happy couples repair fights
Happy couples have healthy communication. So when something is wrong, they’re more likely to talk to the other about it. They’ll also try to stay connected even if the issue isn’t completely resolved.
But that’s a big point: happy couples talk about real issue and work on them.
The opposite is to let things fester, or one partner is unwilling to talk about it. Sometimes one person will ignore issues and try to act like everything is fine, even when the other person wants to work on it. That doesn’t help things.
Happy couples repair the relationship by apologizing, reaching out, using an affectionate tone of voice, making positive comments, suggesting a fun activity together, and trying to show that they understand.
Happy couples see fights and arguments as temporary things, and they fix them and move on.
6. Happy couples have a sense of partnership
Many people see happy couples and feel a sense of jealousy. It’s often the closeness that they want, and a sense of partnership.
In unhealthy relationships, one or both people don’t consider how their decisions affect their partners.
People in happy relationships make decisions together, and both of them think about the relationship (the other’s feelings), their family, and their shared goals.
Another aspect of a sense of partnership is cultivating common interests.
Happy couples will find things they can do together along with encouraging each other with their own interests.
Let’s move on to 3 surprising things that many happy couples do.
7. Happy couples go to bed at the same time
When first together, couples spend their evenings together and usually go to bed together...excited for some time alone. Happy couples keep up that routine as much as possible.
Going to bed together gives you time to talk, cuddle, and continue a healthy sex life.
8. Happy couples walk side by side or holding hands
This doesn’t sound like a big deal, or something you’d even notice...until you see a couple that walks separately, one walking ahead of the other.
Happy couples make a point of walking together, talking, and touching.
9. Happy couples say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every day
We face tension and conflict many days, so it’s nice to start the day by connecting and feeling close to our partner.
Some couples might think they don’t need to say “I love you” but that can indicate an unresolved issue. Even skipping pleasantries like “have a good day” can mean there’s some issues, or at least that the couple isn’t showing thoughtfulness and care to each other.
Those little things matter, and they make a big difference in the happiness of both people.
10. Happy couples check in with each other during the day
It feels nice when someone asks how you’re doing or how your day is going.
It’s really nice when your partner checks in with you, even if it just lets you know they’re thinking about you. It has other benefits, too. Besides creating warmth and closeness, you can see how each other are doing. That way, you have an idea of how things are going before seeing each other in the evening.
If your partner is having a super rough day, you’ll know ahead of time. You can surprise them with a gift, cook dinner, or set aside some quiet time for them.
You won’t greet them, expecting them to be in a great mood and ready to listen to you about your day.
So it really pays off to check in with each other.
Happy couples create habits that keep them in sync and close, so both people can feel like their opinion and needs matter, and that they can depend on the other person.
It’s not that hard to develop habits like these, and they all will significantly improve your relationship.
Try out a few of these “happy couple” habits, and see how you and your partner are doing in a month. You’ll agree the effort doesn’t seem like work when you feel yourself smiling as you go home to see your partner!
10 Tips For A Happy Relationship By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance << [LINK THIS TEXT VIA YOUR AFFILIATE LINK]
We all want a happy relationship.
We know it takes time and effort, but that knowledge doesn’t always translate into the relationship we want. Do you look around at other couples and wonder how they’re so happy all the time?
Of course, what we see in public and on Facebook isn’t the whole picture by a long shot, but it can shake our confidence about our own relationship. The truth is, while a great relationship takes work, part of that work is relaxing and letting go of the little things that could bother you.
As you read through the following 10 tips, you’ll see that sometime we create problems, and the solution is to look at your partner with love and acceptance.
It’s a choice: do you want perfection or do you want to be happy?
And when you let go of some things, you’ll find that you might have the perfect relationship. You just had to see it!
Here’s 10 ways you can make your relationship great, including some ways that you can change your perception for a big impact!
1. See your partner for who they are
We’re taught some gender expectations as we grow up, and then we get bombarded with ideas of what our romantic partner should be, and what they should do for us.
It’s hard not to look at your partner and see how they don’t measure up to social media posts and articles about the perfect partner.
Consider why you fell in love with your partner, and what they actually bring to the relationship, instead of wishing they could be like so-and-so’s husband, according to her Facebook posts.
If you have anger, bitterness, resentment, and other negative feelings about something, think about why you expect your partner to fulfill the need you’re upset about.
Is it a realistic expectation, based on who your partner is?
You’ll make your life so much easier, and your relationship so much better, if you set relationship expectations based on who your partner truly is, not who you think they should be, or who others expect them to be.
This doesn’t mean to lower your standards or “settle” but simply to see the value your partner brings, and the good things they offer you.
2. Don’t bottle things up
I’m including this tip because...well, I’m an expert at bottling things up and then growing resentful.
It starts with something small that offends me or hurts my feelings. I’m not the kind of person who will speak up immediately. Instead I’ll step back, trying to decide if I should feel the way I do.
And 99 times out of 100, I am upset. I realize I should have said something. At that point, I’ll expect my partner to realize their mistake. But it hardly ever works that way. So I mentally chew on it, and basically let it fester until a little thing is a huge issue.
Often, when you’re carrying around one hurt, other things get added in. The list grows. That makes it harder to start a conversation because it could become an attack with this long list of complaints.
See why it causes way more trouble than it should?
Unaddressed problems cause resentment, and that kills relationships.
If something has upset you and you can’t let go of it, you’re not doing yourself or your partner any favors by keeping it to yourself.
If you want a happy relationship, go to your partner to discuss things when they bother you, and don’t assume your partner’s intent. They probably didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s likely they have no idea that something is bothering you.
If something really bothers you, talk about it.
3. Let go of the little stuff
Yes, you should bring important issues up to your partner, but it’s also good to be loving, accepting, and not overly critical.
Imagine if you get irritated five times a day and talked to them about it. Nobody’s perfect. You mess up too, and do little things that could annoy others.
Take 32 year old Lindsey. Her husband always leaves a big mess on the stove when he cooks. For some people, that would be a big problem, and they would say something. However, Lindsey loves it when her husband cooks, and she’s okay with cleaning up.
Your partner might load the dishwasher differently, leave their shoes in the “wrong” place, or forget to put their towel in the wash. So you have to decide if it’s a little thing that you can let go...or if it’ll sit there and cause anger and distance.
If this little thing will cause problems, bring it up.
If it’s something that you can overlook, forget about it.
Ask yourself: is your partner loving and there for you when you need them? That’s what really matters.
4. Be the kind of person you want to be with
You might have a few friends who honestly believe they deserve an awesome partner who showers them with attention, listens all the time, and puts in way more effort.
Yes, we all deserve a special someone...but we should be willing to give that too!
It surprises me that so many people expect much more than they’re willing to put into a relationship.
Here’s a challenge for you: pull out your relationship dream list.
Come on, you probably have a list somewhere of all the qualities you want in your partner. If you’re in a relationship, you might have a list like this saved, or remember what you had on it. Or you might be in a relationship, and still have a mental list of what you wish your partner were doing.
Turn it around. Test yourself. Do you do all of the things you want from your partner? I’m sure you desire some qualities because you know you lack in them, or it’s a quality of the opposite sex.
But the idea is: do you offer the commitment, effort, flexibility, excitement, passion, ambition, and other things that you want from someone?
If you want your partner to be health conscious, then be health conscious and active.
Like attracts like! Try this tip out for attracting a partner and improving your current relationship.
5. Show acts of kindness, especially small ones!
If someone comes to our home, we show them courtesy and even special treatment. We offer this to strangers who call on the phone or people who help us as a part of their job.
Yet we don’t always use good manners and courtesy with the people we live with.
Imagine how your relationship would evolve if you showed loving kindness, acts of kindness both big and small, and common courtesy. What would your partner think tonight if you offered them a drink?
You can turn a relationship around with small acts of kindness. Take their car and fill it with gas or wash it. Do the dishes for them. Leave them a love note. Bring them a snack. Open the door and say, “After you”.
No matter what their “love language” is, they’ll be touched by an act of kindness.
6. Never go to bed angry
This saying has been around for ages, so we can trust that it truly helps any relationship.
Bedtime isn’t the time to bring up a big issue, but going to bed while angry causes big problems in a relationship. You don’t actually go to sleep, but rather both people often lay awake, getting angrier or more hurt.
For a happier relationship, consider these steps:
- Agree to talk it over the next day so you’re not going to bed giving each other the silent treatment.
- Affirm your love for your partner, even if you’re still in disagreement.
- Set up a step you can both take to start working on the problem, and then let it go for the night.
There are times in every relationship when you need to have it out. There’s a big issue and it needs resolved.
If you’re so bothered by something that you’re fuming inside or very hurt, remember Tip #2 and bring it up.
But consider timing, and try to talk calmly to your partner if it’s late in the day so you’re both aware of what’s going on, and you can work on it later.
7. Exercise Together
Many issues in relationships can be solved when the couple does things together and has fun.
In fact, some issues will go away if a couple makes a commitment to getting closer.
One way to do that is to exercise together. You’ll be healthier and more satisfied with the relationship.
Couples report feeling sexier and more in love when they have some sort of physical activity together.
8. Find something you both enjoy doing and do it together regularly
Exercising is awesome, and happy couples find many other ways to spend time together.
It’s surprising and sad how many couples live side by side lives. They share a home and a bed, but they have different hobbies and interests.
Most people like dinner and a movie...what about shooting pool or darts?
You might have other activities you did while dating like hiking or road trips.
Some couples sign up for classes or start a new hobby together.
If you’re stumped, have each person make a list of everything they enjoy doing, plus things they want to try.
Compare lists and see if there’s something that overlaps, or the lists might inspire a new yet similar idea.
Sharing something is such a game changer, especially if you’ve grown part, feel like you’re in a rut, or feel that personally your growth as stagnated.
If you don’t feel that your relationship is a happy one, then perhaps you’re not sharing experiences together that would bring you closer, give you things to talk about, and create memories.
9. Explore new things, places, and ideas together regularly
Trevor and Cindy are one of those couples that seem super close and connected. They travel both around their state and the country, and even internationally every few years. They’re involved in the community and even have a small side business that they run together.
Some couples have things like this, but they’re so busy that they don’t seem close. The difference with Trevor and Cindy is they’re always discussing things and sharing ideas.
You can nurture a relationship like this by sharing audiobooks, visiting new places, discussing current affairs, and sharing new information and ideas.
Find things you’re excited about to discuss, like business, crafts, and hobbies. Attend seminars about personal growth, finance, relationships, and abundance, and then discuss them.
You might have a few interests that don’t overlap, but you can still share and learn about each other.
10. Learn how to talk about sex and make your sex life great
Sex is a funny topic. Some people shy away from talking about it, but it’s at the core of a romantic relationship. It’s not about keeping up with anyone else, but making sure that you and your partner are happy.
People have different needs, so communication is important.
If someone isn’t satisfied, it’s better to talk about what you can change instead of having one person be upset in silence.
Working on the other tips will benefit your sex life too. When people are closer and have more things in common, they connect better sexually as well.
A few ideas:
- Send each other articles
- Get flirty over texts
- Plan date nights
- Cultivate closeness and communication—this is a big turn on for women
- Talk about turn ons and turn offs, and what each person wants to try
- Explore together
- Make a point of learning about sex together—you have the entire internet and hundreds of books to help!
Finally, think of ways to make your partner feel desired and sexy, and watch what it does for your sex life!
Having a happy relationship isn’t impossible or all that hard. It takes a commitment and willingness to communicate and learn.
Don’t think that you either have a happy relationship or you don’t. It’s a journey and process.
No matter where your relationship is at, implementing these tips will produce some favorable results
How To Save Your Relationship (6 Essential Steps) By Brian Robbens
Creator of Respark The Romance
[Link this text via your affiliate link]
You’ve had good times, hard times, and everything in between. You’ve been through a lot together. And you don’t want to call it quits. Working on a relationship can be rewarding and even bring you closer together.
The first step is being willing to honestly look at issues and fix them while cultivating positive habits.
It’s easy to fall into ruts of miscommunication, hurt feelings, and bad relationship habits.
Those habits can ruin a relationship. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and the director of the “love lab” found indicators that a relationship wouldn’t work out.
It’s well worth it to learn what NOT to do, and what to do instead to keep your love alive.
1. Don’t turn away; turn toward your partner
Let’s say your partner is sitting next to you and says, “There’s a new movie playing at the theater.”
Do you:
A. Make a noise and continue staring at your phone.
B. Say, “Oh.”
C. Say, “Oh, cool, what it is?”
D. Look at your partner and ask, “What is it? Do you want to go?”
Choice A is turning away. You’re ignoring your partner and showing that you don’t care.
Choice B is turn away too. It’s just not quite as rude.
Choice C is okay. You’re showing interest.
Choice D is turning toward your partner. You realized they were reaching out, acknowledged them, and reached back.
You can guess which response will make your partner feel closer.
Everyone makes small gestures like this, reaching out to connect. We start a conversation, try to engage the other, and show that we care.
If you pick up on these, you can show your partner that you notice them and appreciate them.
Turning toward your partner builds romance, trust, and communication, and avoids hurt feelings or anger.
If you reach out and your partner doesn’t notice or engage, don’t get angry. They might not see what you’re doing.
You can kindly explain that you’d like to connect more, and that was your way of reaching out to them.
Honestly goes a long ways, and so does sharing that you want to make things better.
2. Avoid the harsh start up for conversations
Coming at someone with criticism or statements that start with “always” or “never” kill communication.
An example would be: “You never help with chores around here.”
A better way of starting the conversation would be: “It was so helpful when you took the trash out last week.”
If you’re hurt or annoyed, start with something soft such as, “Something’s been bothering me, and I don’t think I can let it go without talking to you.” You want a positive outcome for the conversation. You’re more likely to get there if you start with a team mindset instead of attacking.
3. Avoid the Toxic 4 Habits
Four things kill relationships faster than anything:
• Criticism
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling
• Contempt
No one likes to be criticized. It’s better to say something about the action than put the person down. You could also try praise for a positive behavior because people usually respond to that better.
Defensiveness is defending yourself, or even just explaining, when your partner tries to talk to you. It feels like you’re telling them they’re wrong.
Stonewalling usually follows the first two. This is one partner giving the other the cold shoulder, not talking, or avoiding. Sometimes the partner will be physically present but tunes the other out.
These first three lead to contempt, which is like the final nail in the coffin of a relationship.
Contempt is when someone really can’t stand the other. The person might mock them, roll their eyes, use sarcasm, sneer, gossip, and show outright hatred.
It’s like someone took all of their negative emotions and reactions and simmered them for a long time. You do not want your relationship to get to this point.
Hopefully you can catch things at an earlier stage.
If you see these behaviors in your relationship from you and/or your partner, ask to have a talk.
Look for better ways to communicate, such as the methods listed here.
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4. Don’t focus on the negative; tip the scales to the positive side
In any situation, if you have a negative atmosphere, you’re not going to be happy.
If everyone at work talks about what they don’t like about the boss, the office, the schedules, and the pay, then everyone is going to feel like it’s not a good place to work.
The same is true in your relationship. You can choose to focus on negative things and hang onto them.
Or you can choose to look for positive things.
People tend to assume the worst. What if you made it a habit to assume the best about your partner?
Tell yourself they have the best intentions, and if they said something that hurt your feelings, it was an accident.
If something happens that feels hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt.
In any situation, step back and ask yourself how you can see things in a more positive light.
This takes practice, but after a while you’ll be amazed at how your life and relationship are changing for the better.
5. Avoid “growing apart” with curiosity
Some couples get to the point that they don’t check in with each other. There are many milestones along the way to that point.
You might only ask them, “How was your day?” but not really know what’s going on in their life.
Think about if you really connect and know what’s stressing them, what they’re excited about, and what they’re trying to accomplish.
Think of a few unexpected questions to ask.
Sit down and explore different things like:
What’s changed in the last year?
Do you know any new people?
Is the atmosphere at work a good one, and why?
What are you hoping to see happen this year? In the next five years?
Do you have any concerns about life right now?
The point is to reconnect and really understand each other. You might find they’ve been dealing with something that’s been affecting the relationship, and you didn’t know.
6. Replace “I understand” with “I see what you’re saying”.
Terminology can make such a huge difference when you think about your words.
If you tell someone, “I understand,” it often annoys them. They don’t think that you do truly understand.
But if you say, “I see what you’re saying,” it implies that you can see their point of view.
“I see what you’re saying” doesn’t mean the other person is right, but it opens the door to talk about it more.
Other things that you can say and change the tone of the conversation include:
• I see your point
• Can we take a breather?
• Is there a way to compromise on this?
• Maybe we should start the conversation over.
• Okay, so are you saying _______________. (Paraphrase to make sure you understand them.)
• Does it seem like I’m understanding you?
• I want to understand this.
• I’m confused, but I want to work together.
Implementing these 6 practices into your relationship will help communication, connection, and turn things around.
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